Okay, so I am going to stray from my initial promise of not using this forum to speak about love, romance, blah, blah, blah. But tonight, I think I just had a mini breakthrough and I need to share. I spent a good portion of my time today on my comfy sofa, just me and my television. As I was desperately fighting my way through the 200+ channels to find a action flick (my favorite) of some sort, alls I got were shows about women looking for love, waiting to be chosen by love, crazy in love, or just plain crazy. I wanted to scream. I think there was a point where I did. But all screams aside, I will never, ever understand why we women don’t understand our power. We have the power to hold the weight of the world on our shoulders and carry it in our wombs, but we belittle it, antagonize it, destroy it, and sell it, just for a fucking man.
A man. A man. A man. A man. I am not going to exclude myself from this generalization either. Personally, it seems that once I finally have a grip on the “REAL” situation, that same old shamelessness wonders back in, and I am instantly transformed into a needy, “ooh pick me, pick me” woman. Its really very nauseating and very draining. But tonight I was watching this very interesting documentary/special feature on Mary J. Blige and the creation of Hip Hop Soul. I have always been a Mary fan, probably for the same reasons most others are, but there is one song, and one verse that always, once heard, comes down on me like a loving slap from a Black mama: “How can I love somebody else, when I can’t love myself enough to know, when it’s time, time to let go. …Life is too short To be tryin to play some games. Now take some time and think about if it’s really worth losing me…” When I hear her sing these words, its like a wake up call. It speaks to the origin of my power. It makes me want to shout YES!, and most importantly to never forget my power again.
An associate of mine just told me something that put this whole thing into perspective for. We were discussing dating and romance, and when people are truly genuine. What she said to me really pulled back my eyelids and really changed the way I will forever think about this stuff, she says…” You do not need to pursue anyone. The RIGHT person will pursue you, and in turn, since he is the RIGHT person, you will pursue him, and all will be well. Just wait for it. It will happen.” YES! So simple, yet so true. No waiting around listlessly, no “tryin’ a be chose,” just me being me, enjoying me, loving me in my moment. YES!
I encourage you to share,
Be.